I was the strangest kid in high school.
I wore rose henna tattoos all over my arms and nearly got banned from my conservative Texan high school for shaving the sides of my head while growing long bangs hang over my eyes. I stayed up countless nights for the sake of my art and even my art teacher didn’t get my work or what I was trying to say.
School was the worst part of my life. I didn’t connect with my peers & all I looked forward to was hiding away in my bedroom away from the world to draw artsy boys with curly hair. Because I was so disconnected from reality, I decided to create my own world. The movies I watched and music I listened to helped me create my own universe amongst circumstances I hated. In the process, I created a world I now look back on to appreciate. My bedroom was a little haven with bulb lights, tapestries, and fashion magazines. My speakers blasted ethereal 90’s shoegazey bands and set an atmosphere I could never find in any metro city or dream job.
Now I look back at the moments I created for myself, and I dream of going back in this time of reflection. It gives me a sense of peace knowing we have control over our minds and thoughts during times of disaster. There is so much beauty and inspiration to access with all the artists releasing their visions onto the internet. There’s serenity in every corner, we just have to notice it and choose to appreciate it.
Isolation is an opportunity to not only reflect on time passing, but also to look back on these precious memories we never accessed before when our schedule was occupying our brains with new events and exciting activities. We constantly fill our minds with entertainment (music, social media, TV) we rarely have a chance to breathe and acknowledge the beauty that lies in the simplicity of life.
I am always on the hunt for moments of serenity, personally I call this “Holocene”. It initially began when I was in middle school watching the Bon Iver music video for this song, and it captured the essence of these moments for me.
{my board of these moments} :: https://www.pinterest.com/jessicafaithnyc/holocene/
These are moments you can’t plan or repeat. The simplicity of these moments are so beautiful, it makes you realize that you don’t need to spend a ton of money or make big plans to appreciate life. Now instead of hours of reading and endless entertainment, sometimes I just let time lead me into the simple moments that I didn’t appreciate before I moved to the busiest, craziest city in the world.
Here are some of those moments of serenity to capture (or remember) in time of isolation:
A drive at sunset riding home from school. Thinking about the people in your life, not as who they are to you but just as individuals with unique identities all doing something at this moment even if you are not with them. Becoming aware of how the present is something we all have in common. Looking up at the sky knowing that everyone is under the same sky and someone out there you don’t know is sharing this moment with you.
Waking up from a nap after school / work. Seeing the sun peek through the windows, bleeding onto the walls through the blinds. Shadows being casted, feeling a bit hungry ready for dinner & maybe smelling the banana bread mom made earlier. Feeling rested & in a bit of a daze, but satisfied as hell. Everyone is quiet, in their rooms or in the living room all separate but together in the same house.
A bike ride with dad on Saturday morning on your way downtown. Realizing that once he was your age too, naive & young seeking out meaning for his own life. Seeking out love & confused about his future. He looked up to his mom but still got angry at her just like you do with him at times. The sun is warm and you both share a quiet ride together, seeing the berries on the pavement that fell from the trees earlier in the season.
The train ride to your sisters’. Alone but looking around at all the quiet moment being experienced by others, knowing they are thinking to themselves awaiting arrival to the same destination. The sun is soft and bleeding through the trees beside you, quickly passing and slowly shedding leaves readying themselves for fall. You await the comfort of her small apartment and your favorite game with that gentle theme song that plays even after you fall asleep on the couch and she tucks you in goodnight.
To me, these moments are God’s gift to us. I was once told He loves the quiet moments with us rather than the intensity that comes up in our talks with Him from time to time. He adores these moments of serenity with us. It’s His way of blessing us with His presence. In these moments – despite the darkness and drama of life that is indeed inevitable – He is saying He’s there watching us. The Spirit fills the air and envelopes us in the beauty of His love and blessings. When we experience God, it’s not always about life changing events and deep long dramatic moments, sometimes the walk with Him is simply about sharing a simple moment with Him and quietly acknowledging Him.
I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the LORD sustains me.
