Dear Quarantine,
You & I have this very (shall I say) unique relationship. There are those joyous moments of cooking feta mushroom crepes while dancing in the living and singing to Bruce Springsteen, and there are others of me vividly dreaming about being stuck with the lead singer of Tokio Hotel for 28 hours and making soup out of cajun powder, water, exactly 2 raw carrots, and crusty ramen noodles. My work emails consist of typos that sound like Elvish, my dead-ends & bangs are starting to house birds, and my current playlist mainly consists of German emo-punk and pretty much only The Goo Goo Dolls.
Here’s an homage to our most special moments together.

 …

“I can finally pursue my artistic visions!”

Not

We all dreamt about the opportunity to have endless free time to pursue our dreams of painting and writing. Until we realized this was not that time. Every painting turns out to be slightly demented or just not good. The motivation slips away as days drift further and further away from the last time you renewed your inspiration with a trip to a cafe nearby or spoke to someone interesting. It’s totally okay though. Perhaps our current works won’t turn into a career, however we can use these mediums as escapes to pass the time.

 …

“Okay guys let’s begin the session *ding* awe dude did we just lose Mark again?”

Art: Original (Me) JFM 2020
I spend a few hours a week doing Dungeons & Dragons sessions with a group of friends via Discord (video call). Every 20 minutes, someone’s internet glitches and the call drops. Sometimes, my webcam shows a bit too much dirty laundry in the background, and the sound goes in and out throughout the whole call. Regardless, I love this group and am grateful to be able to see them even if it’s the glitchiest online experience. I recreated our Discord call in one of my recent works of art.

 …

“I went from selling luxury in SoHo to sending emails in a pair of snoopy socks”

This homemade meme pretty much sums up my entire quarantine work life right now.

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“Hey (insert quarantine partner’s name here) does Amazon Prime ship Hairstylists? One-Day shipping perhaps?”

Let’s all be real – the box dye isn’t working and those eyebrow scissors simply won’t do the job.

 …

“What’s for lunch?”

“We have one raw carrot, lentils, and some sprouting garlic.”

-and in case you forgot, the wait list for Amazon Fresh is two years.

 …

Quarantine, thanks for the good times… but I hope you agree we should start seeing other people. I hope you understand. I don’t really feel like this is going to last.
Sincerely,
The Entire Planet.